Our Original Mission Statement:
It is our mission to make Oakland a more beautiful, fun and healthy environment for all of its inhabitants. By providing entertainment that fills the void created by alienation of labor, we hope to improve the psychological landscape of Oakland’s denizens. Through charitable contributions and direct action we will try to help the less fortunate people of our community. Oakland’s hidden talents, pleasures, and beauties currently lay strewn about her asphalt jungle, like gold plated Easter eggs filled with delicious papaya juice, awaiting discovery; we shall mercilessly expose them, and slake the spiritual thirst of her residents. We are an optimistic experiment in democratic organization, and this is our love letter to Oakland: May you, Oakland, be more fun than anyone ever thought you could be, may you be less messed up than we expected this year, and may we make you totally bitchin’.